Christie Weeks
Consultant to this program

Almost twenty years ago, I made one of my frequent visits to a friend in another state. We had lunch one day with four of her friends, all of whom I knew. The conversation centered on our children and families. Among the six of us, we had twenty children, so there were plenty of stories to share!

Gradually, the conversation became more serious as one mother recounted the experience of learning that a babysitter had molested her two children. As soon as she and her husband learned of the abuse, they assured the children that nothing that happened was their fault.   Authorities were notified and the children received immediate counseling. Friends and family were supportive. Because the parents remained calm and took quick action, the healing progress began, and the children’s outcome was hopeful.

As our table talk continued, I was astounded to learn that I was the only one of that group of well-educated, middle-class women who had not experienced the effects of child sexual abuse—either personally or within the immediate family. The victims were male and female, and the abuse occurred from elementary age to mid-teens. Furthermore, all of the offenders were known to the victims and their families.

Therefore, learning in 2002 that at least one of every five females and one of every ten males is a victim of child sexual abuse [i] was not a shock to me. My long-ago “lunchtime revelation” and my later work experiences confirmed that those figures are very real. The number of victims and the long-term impact of abuse on the child, family, and community cannot be refuted. Some people would like to deny these facts, but solid research bares the sad truth.

Participants in the recentResponse and Prevention Project affirmed there is a need to “address child sexual abuse as a known societal problem.” [ii] Indeed, child sexual abuse knows no gender, race, ethnic, or socio-economic boundaries. Abusers can be professionals, hourly workers, teachers, executives, clergy, or volunteers.

Fortunately, in recent years research and society’s close scrutiny of perpetrators also have brought to light behaviors that can alert caring, observant adults to the intentions of offenders. Although it would be naïve to believe that we will totally eradicate child sexual abuse, we should be realistically convinced that we can both significantly diminish the number of child victims and reduce the duration and severity of abuse that does occur.

We can no longer   believe that just recognizing the signs exhibited by a child who has already been abused is sufficient. Adults—parents, teachers, grandparents, and other responsible citizens must work to prevent the abuse of children and others who are vulnerable. When we become attuned to inappropriate actions—such as an adult giving gifts without a parent or guardian’s approval, an adult seeking to be alone with children in isolated areas, an adult constantly tickling, touching, and wrestling with children, or an adult permitting kids to do things their parents don’t allow—we can then convey our concerns to the appropriate persons.

Likewise, we can ask questions about the basic practices of organizations that serve children.

• What types of screening are required for volunteers and employees who work with children?
• What is the ratio of adults to children for children’s programs or activities?
• Are off-limits areas clearly explained to children and adults? Are the guidelines enforced?
• Are parents or guardians welcome at any and all times?
• Who supervises program activities?

As concerned adults ask these questions of themselves and others more frequently, those who are responsible for programs that don’t have sound policies in place will realize that change is in order.

Are programs that teach children about good touch and safety important? Absolutely! Do we need to know the signs that may indicate that a child has been abused? Undoubtedly! Is that the extent of our responsibility? Certainly not!

First and foremost, adults across the community must rally and accept the duty to demand a safe environment for all children. The more committed we become and the more we educate ourselves, the more difficult it becomes for offenders to remain hidden and operate in obscurity.

So much can change in twenty years. Committed adults have made a good start, but our world needs many more adults to become protectors of children. Let us join our efforts to ensure that when future generations of mothers and fathers meet for a meal they have only happy, funny, carefree stories to share!

[i] Dr. David Finkelhor, Director of Crimes Against Children Research Center, Co-Director of the Family Research laboratory, and Professor of Sociology at the University of New Hampshire.

[ii] United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Office of Child and Youth Protection. http://www.usccb.org/ocyp/rpproject.shtml